The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Archive for the ‘Random Fun’ Category

Crabs on a Plane……

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in New Orleans , please raise your hand.

Not one hand went up…. So she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folk think

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Customer Support…Really??

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department…………..
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’

Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect .’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble?’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing??’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type..’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator?’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’

Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’

Opera tor: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall..
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer..’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller: ‘No..’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
Caller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator: ‘Dark?’
Caller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not?’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’
Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer!’

Random Fun – Wild Women…

Warning!!! Go to the bathroom before you watch this…Too FUNNY!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt9lErsLafw

Bounce This Along

I found this interesting enough to pass along. Enjoy!

Bounce This Along


I heard that the U.S. Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away.

Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The insects just veer around you.

All this time you’ve just been putting Bounce in the dryer!

1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.

2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.

4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.

6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling..

7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.

8. To freshen the air in your home – Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet. 

9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

12. To freshen the air in your car – Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan..

14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

16. Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds.. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

22. Wet a Bounce sheet, hose down your car, and wipe lovebugs off easily with the wet Bounce.

Random Fun

I haven’t had much time to post this week but I would  like to share a little fun with you today. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Excuses! Excuses!

I had to call the kids school today and let them know that the girls would not be in and why…rules, you know. It reminded me of a list that was printed up called “Looking at Language” By Richard Lederer. With all the clouds and gloomy weather today I needed a little pick me up and though you might need one too. This was too funny not to share.
These are all excuse notes parents actually sent to school. (Not my typos!)
*My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. Please execute him.
*Mary could not come to school today because she was bother by very close veins.
*Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33.
*Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
*Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
*Please excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
*John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
*Chris had an acre in his side.
*Please excuse Gloria from Jim today.
*Lillie was absent from school yesterday as she had a gangover.
*Sandy and I won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have a funeral to attend.

Hope you enjoyed it. Have a Great Day!

Random Fun – Bumper Sticker

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